PET RULES

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same doo r I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years –canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it “fur”niture.)
3. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don’t ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don’t hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don’t smoke or drink
8. Don’t have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don’t want to wear your clothes
10. Don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and…
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

So, I haven’t put up a significant post in a while, some would say ever, and I really haven’t posted any photos in a while.

I’m currently trudging through a pile of magazines that seems endless. Maybe I should seek help for my magazine addiction. I’m about two chapters into The Golden Compass, and I’m finding that I really like it, but then another magazine says, “No, read ME!”

Christmas was alright, and I slept through New Years. New Years has just never been that exciting to me. Dan and I each received a ten dollar gift card to Borders, which I used online to get Wordpress for Dummies and DragonArt. I am sorely unimpressed with DHL’s delivery service. I ordered both books separately (which is a whole ‘nother story), and the first book arrived about 10 days late, while the second book came two days before the first one was due to arrive. Why one book needed to go from Arizona to Ohio to Utah to Montana, while the other only went from Arizona to Montana, I’ll never know.

I had the distinct pleasure of restoring our computer to factory settings. The sfc /scannow command yielded a lovely corrupt file it couldn’t repair which was causing software to stop running. I tried every possible fix I could find online, which included a system restore to a point saved on December 29. That was a mistake which caused I-don’t-know-how-many registry errors. If I try to look on the bright side, it’s almost like getting a new computer all over again. Wait, there’s all that advertising to remove, Windows Vista security to turn off, patches to install, yada yada. There is no bright side. None at’all.

Ah well, it’s done now. And I always have cats to entertain me.

Tweetey is right, I haven’t posted any dog related stuff in quite a while. There’s not much to say about Bella, she’s a good girl, but she’s mellowed with age. She doesn’t do half the crazy things she did as a young pup. She’s half Rottweiler, half German Shepherd, and some day she’s going to steal my car keys and drive to Tijuana.

So here is Bella and her tongue:

This cartoon perfectly illustrates the reason cat lovers can be glad that our feline companions don’t have opposable thumbs!

Stolen

The Weebit [Jazz] here, is a horrible junkie. I have a small basket to keep cat toys, treats and drugs [catnip] in. The little thief will dig to the bottom of the basket, throwing out toys and treats, just to grab this container by the lip on the bottom and steal it. Between her and the other five fiends, they have bitten so many holes in the plastic bucket that it’s not even necessary to have the catnip itself. Jazz is also talented enough to pack the bucket around to where ever she wants to get her frenzy on. She will eventually end up getting the munchies before passing out on the bed. If she does ever get the craving for more I’m sure she’ll quickly learn to get the lid off the container. For her sake, and mine, let’s hope that never happens.

Forgive me for the lame post, the FVCC is a hot-bed of influenza.

We took Bella with us on the Swan River Nature Trail in Bigfork, MT. We began downtown at a small sculpture park where she posed with a relaxing bear. By the way, she’s seven, so she’s not really a puppy.

This is Solomon.

I missed the shot of Maddy pawing at the monitor, but I did catch her licking her chops. She and Max have been quite fascinated with the Aqua zone screen saver.

Edit: by request, here’s a short video clip of Maddy and her entertainment (it may not be available immediately):

Our Betta. He doesn’t have a name, he’s just Betta. He shares his three gallon, Eclipse tank with two, dwarf, African Clawed Frogs.

Jasmine! We call her Jazz. She is tiny but mighty, as she’ll pick a fight with twice-her-size Raul, anyday! She is super-sweet, super-affectionate, and super-talkative. She likes to shadow me around the house and carry on conversations!