As you may have noticed, I’ve had no desire to post anything. Not a, “Hey, I’m still here.” Not even holiday wishes. Nothin’. I should feel guilty; I don’t. But I would like to post more regularly. I enjoy blogging. So, instead of trying to think of some über cool topic to write about, I’m going to motivate myself by unapologeticly posting random stuff. Maybe I’ll get inspired.

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Dan bought a big ol’ box of Ritz crackers at Costco, now I have to make stuff to put on them. First up, my mama’s cheese spread. Yes, she’ll probably haunt me for sharing the recipe, but it’s not like you couldn’t find it on AllRecipes.

Two blocks cream cheese, softened
One cup cottage cheese
One TBS fresh lemon juice and maybe a dash more (Please don’t use the bottled stuff, my mom did, and, well, my way is better.)
One heaping tsp onion salt
One heaping tsp garlic powder
A handful of chopped Parsley (No dried stuff! Don’t do it!)

Blend it all together.

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Someone started the Flathead Valley Roller Derby and I really wanted to join. I even went to the roller rink to try out. I actually managed to get one skate on before I chickened out. When does shyness turn into agoraphobia? Yuppers. Full on panic attack. No roller derby for me.

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Why do people expect President Obama to fix eight years worth of Bush’s fuck ups in only one year?

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I’ve been trying to learn how to crochet, and in the future would like to learn to knit. I usually learn things pretty quickly. Not so with crochet. I’ve been going through the Crochet for Dummies book and I’ve got the stitches down, but it’s the patterns that baffle me. Even with the dummies book I can’t make heads or tails of the language crochet patterns are in (Unless it’s a very basic pattern). I’m either getting dumber or slower.

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That’s all I got. I’m not going to pressure myself to come up with more. Like I said, random.

I’ve been in a funk for a while now.  I wouldn’t say I’ve been depressed, I just haven’t been enjoying things the way I used to and my frustration level has been high.  A funk, a funk I say.  So when I saw Zombie Slayer’s recent post about the things he likes, I thought, “That’s what I need to do, a list of things I’m diggin’ on.” Let’s see how many I can actually come up with.

1. Warehouse 13 — Secret Service agents searching for dangerous, supernatural relics? Check. The chick from Drake and Josh? Check. Elements of Steampunk? Check. Saul Rubinek? Aww yeah, check!

2. Super Cute Kawaii — Make sure you get a super-sized dose of insulin before checking in with Monsieur Le Bun. When you’re done there, check out Cuteable.com.

3. Leverage — I know, it’s another television show, but I dearly love it. Clever cons, great one-liners and a fabulous cast.

4. Nancy Drew games by Her Interactive — I have all but one of the games, and I play them over and over. I like both the Original Adventure series and the new Dossier series. There’s brain stimulating puzzles and fun characters. Well, the newest game, Ransom of the Seven Ships, was a little low on puzzles and characters, but the rest are great.

5. Penpals — The old school kind. Where you actually have to use a pen and paper. Whoa, I know, what a concept!

6. The Northwest Montana Fair — I don’t usually have a good time at the fair, but this year I was really looking forward to it. Dan gets sick on rides, so this year I decided I’d just go on them by myself. I’m glad I did; I’d forgotten how much fun they can be. Fair food isn’t quite as good up here as it is back east, but I was able to enjoy my pulled pork sandwich in spite of it.

7. Cow Pooling — Anyone wanna share a side of beef with me?

8. My dog, Bella — I’ve had dogs in my life, but Bella is THE dog. The best dog I’ve ever had, and I love her to bits!

9. Bento Boxes — I just got my first one and I can’t wait to pack my lunch! I also got six egg molds so I can shape hard-boiled eggs.

And I guess nine is all I’ve got.

What are some things you’re lovin’ right now?

Even though I live in Montana, I grew up in the Midwest. In tornado alley when we heard there was a tornado warning we didn’t take cover, we’d go outside with a camera and look for a funnel cloud.

The ones in bold are my favourites.

You know you grew up in tornado alley if…

The first thing you do if you hear tornado sirens during the day is check your watch to see if it’s noon…or run outside to look.

You don’t get worried unless the sky looks “green”.

You use the word “tornado” as a verb.

You chuckle at all the facebook groups called “I survived the ___ tornado.”

You might go indoors when there’s a tornado, but you won’t “seek shelter” for anything less than an F3.

You know what Doppler radar, Hook echo, wall cloud, and rain-wrapped all mean. And you can read the radar map.

You’ve never exactly memorized the tornado precautions, but you’ve heard them enough times that you know them by heart anyway.

Watching the weather is entertaining. And red on the Doppler radar is exciting.

The phrase “Tornado on the ground, take your immediate tornado precautions” sends exciting shivers up your spine.

You’ve seen photos/videos of tornadoes and said, “Wow, that’s a nice one!”

You can feel/smell tornado weather brewing a few hours before the storm actually begins.

There’s an odd feeling as though you’ve misplaced something if you make it all the way to June without a tornado warning near you.

You think people that live in earthquake and/or hurricane prone areas are crazy.

You know what people are talking about when they mention the “May 3rd/Moore” tornado and the “Greensburg/May4th” tornado.

You watch the movie “Twister” just so you can point out all the inaccuracies in it.

You know your weathermen by their first names. i.e. Gary.

When you hear the tornado sirens go off, you go outside to watch the storm and take pictures.

Most of the tornado video footage comes from everyday people with camcorders instead of from actual news/weathermen.

You’re sure there’s a giant tornado magnet hidden somewhere in Moore. And that there are smaller ones distributed throughout trailer parks.

You know that the four seasons are actually: summer, late summer, winter (if you’re lucky), and tornado.

You don’t consider it windy until the windspeed is faster than 30mph.

You are highly entertained by people from outside tornado alley when there is a tornado watch. (Hilarious!!!)

You learned that some other states don’t have tornado drills from this list.

There’s enough random stuff in your tornado shelter that you could live there for a year.

You stand under your carport or open your front door to watch hail and/or thunderstorms.

You know the difference between a basement, a cellar, and a storm shelter.

The weather is a completely acceptable subject for conversation, at any time, for any occasion.

Your local mall has “tornado shelter” signs posted.

It doesn’t bother you the next day to find out that your area was under a tornado watch the night before and you had no idea. Unless, of course, it caused you to miss some interesting cloud formations.

Getting to “play” in the basement/cellar/storm shelter numbers among your favorite childhood memories.

You keep matches, candles, and candleholders in more than one place in your house.

Your town will never get hit by a tornado because you’re between two rivers or because an old Indian legend says so.

You complain about severe weather reports that interrupt the TV show you’re watching.

You can get together all your most important possessions in 2 minutes flat.

When tornado sirens woke you up in the middle of the night…you rolled over and went back to sleep.

You’ve ever tried to reassure someone by saying that “if anything forms it will only be a little tornado”…and couldn’t understand why this didn’t calm them down any.

It’s normal for your area to be under a tornado watch for multiple days in a row.

When looking at houses/buildings you give them a “tornado survival ranking”. i.e., how big of a tornado it would take to destroy it. Also, if you are in a new building or house, you evaluate in your mind the best place to take shelter.

You’ve ever asked (probably w/ disdain) “Don’t they know the difference between a warning and a watch?”

You know what towns/cities a tornado normally passes through before coming your way.

From watching radar maps, you’ve heard of almost every small town in your state. And you know what towns are around them, but you have no idea where in the state they are.

You know what the freight-train noise sounds like from personal experience.

You laughed at everything in this list, but you also respect a tornado’s power. And you know that after it’s over, clean-up and re-building has to begin.

How these guys make these sounds just baffles me, but it’s so awesome to listen to.

Well, I started this list when I started my blog in February of 2005 and I’ve finally finished. I was going to let it sit for a few more years so I could conveniently edit things out, but I figured, “Aw, what the hell, I’ll just post it anyway.” If you feel the urge to say something snarky, sit down and wait for it to pass. I didn’t say it was 100 interesting things about me. (And yes, there’s someone in particular who I expect to be a rather vicious commentator — but that’s OK, ’cause I can be pretty vicious, too.)

1. I don’t swim, won’t swim and I’m terrified of deep water. Really, I’m so terrified of water, I might have rabies. (Not really, I bathe and stuff.)

2. I religiously watched Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. I’m so ashamed.

3. I have an insane magazine habit. I love magazines!

4. I pun. I’ve also been known to quip.

5. I wear contacts. My vision is the suck. Oh, and I hate wearing my glasses!

6. My three deserted island foods are beef tenderloin, avocados and raspberries.

7. I rule at the game of Risk. World domination is my thing. However, I lose my ass at chess.

8. I know it’s cliché, but I’m a shoe girl.

9. I put salt on almost everything. I only put pepper on fried eggs and popcorn. Also, ketchup must have ample amounts of Tabasco.

10. My all-time favourite actors are Kevin Spacey and Kathy Bates.

11. If I believed in past-lives, I would have been: an ancient Egyptian, a Ninja, an Old-West outlaw and a southern not-so-belle. But I don’t believe in past lives, so only this one counts.

12. I should be studying for an upcoming Philosophy quiz. (Wow! How long ago did I start this list?)

13. I can watch old episodes of Roseanne, Doctor Who and Buffy the Vampire Slayer over and over (…and over).

14. I have freakishly long fingers.

15. David Copperfield is my favourite book.

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A lot of people have found these Burger King tray liners offensive. Personally, I think they’re hilarious. I think people get their knickers in a bunch over anything lately, as if they have the right to not be offended. Are these kid appropriate? Maybe not, but are they morally offensive? I don’t think so. Women have boobs, and in this case, veggie women have boobs. Really, they’re nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Pretending that sex and sexuality don’t exist is why seventeen year old governor’s daughters get knocked up.

This guy was spotted at Woodland Park here in Kalispell. It appears to be a gull type, but has a somewhat straighter, pointed beak and thinner legs with webbed feet. I thought it might be a tern, but I couldn’t find one that looks like this guy. We’ve never seen this bird before, so we have no idea what it is. It also had a high pitched, short call that was nothing like a seagull. Any ideas?

Click the photos to get a larger version.

An alien? Ghost? What about Munch’s screamer? Maybe it’s Jesus. Who do you think revealed himself to me in the mold on my plum?

I didn’t get tagged for this, but I’m doing it anyway; five, non-blog sites I visit daily:

1. At first I didn’t get it, but I’ve become obsessed (or is it possessed?) with LOL Cats. Sure, some of them just aren’t funny, and it’s absolute murder to read the comments, but the funny ones? Ohmigosh are they funny!

see more crazy cat pics

2. Postcrossing helps feed my urge to see the world, without having to go any farther than my mailbox. I’m up 109 110 postcards from around the world. It’s also a relatively cheap hobby.

3. I know, I know, who needs to register for yet another social networking site? But Livemocha is a little different. It’s entirely geared towards language instruction. You can take courses that are similar to Rosetta Stone, and converse with native speakers of the language you’re learning. I’m still hoping that they add Irish language instruction to their list of available languages, though.

4. I like to cook, right? Actually, it’s more accurate to say that I like good food. Sometimes I just throw stuff together, and sometimes I try what others have just thrown together. That’s why I spend way too much time on All Recipes. I also found the BEST Colcannon recipe on All Recipes. Wanna try it?

Colcannon
INGREDIENTS
  * 2 1/2 pounds potatoes, peeled and cubed
  * 4 slices bacon (I like to add a bit more)
  * 1/2 small head cabbage, chopped
  * 1 large onion, chopped
  * 1/2 cup milk
  * salt and pepper to taste
  * 1/4 cup butter, melted

DIRECTIONS
*Place potatoes in a saucepan with enough water to cover. Bring to a boil, and cook for 15 to 20 minutes, until tender.
*Place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Drain, reserving drippings, crumble and set aside. In the reserved drippings, sauté the cabbage and onion until soft and translucent. Putting a lid on the pan helps the vegetables cook faster.
*Drain the cooked potatoes, mash with milk and season with salt and pepper. Fold in the bacon, cabbage, and onions, then transfer the mixture to a large serving bowl. Make a well in the center, and pour in the melted butter. Serve immediately.

5. Even though I haven’t updated my reading list in a long while, I do still read, and I’m cheap, so I peruse the listed books on Paperback Swap. I really wish I hadn’t wasted a credit on Flowers for Algernon, but hey, I can re-list it, and send it to someone else!

So there it is. Five places where I enjoy wasting time. No, I’m not going to tag anyone, but I’d love to know what five, non-blog sites you visit frequently.

Check out the Playmobil Security Check Point on Amazon.com. I only wish they were available for purchase.

From the Manufacturer
The woman traveler stops by the security checkpoint. After placing her luggage on the screening machine, the airport employee checks her baggage. The traveler hands her spare change and watch to the security guard and proceeds through the metal detector. With no time to spare, she picks up her luggage and hurries to board her flight!

The reviews are what makes this product page entertaining, but the review from loosenut proves to be the best product review, ever.

I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger’s shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger’s scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said “that’s the worst security ever!”. But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.
The best thing about this product is that it teaches kids about the realities of living in a high-surveillence society. My son said he wants the Playmobil Neighborhood Surveillence System set for Christmas. I’ve heard that the CC TV cameras on that thing are pretty worthless in terms of quality and motion detection, so I think I’ll get him the Playmobil Abu-Gharib Interogation Set instead (it comes with a cute little memo from George Bush).