April 16th, 2008The End Move in Politics is Always to Pick up a Gun
My friend, Josh, sent me a link to this, I thought it was hilarious:
Troll away… 
April 6th, 2008Selective Ignorance, A Cornerstone of Child Rearing
Check out the Playmobil Security Check Point on Amazon.com. I only wish they were available for purchase.
From the Manufacturer
The woman traveler stops by the security checkpoint. After placing her luggage on the screening machine, the airport employee checks her baggage. The traveler hands her spare change and watch to the security guard and proceeds through the metal detector. With no time to spare, she picks up her luggage and hurries to board her flight!
The reviews are what makes this product page entertaining, but the review from loosenut proves to be the best product review, ever.
I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger’s shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger’s scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said “that’s the worst security ever!”. But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.
The best thing about this product is that it teaches kids about the realities of living in a high-surveillence society. My son said he wants the Playmobil Neighborhood Surveillence System set for Christmas. I’ve heard that the CC TV cameras on that thing are pretty worthless in terms of quality and motion detection, so I think I’ll get him the Playmobil Abu-Gharib Interogation Set instead (it comes with a cute little memo from George Bush).
March 31st, 2008Away in a State of Confusion
Alabama: Hell, yes, we have electricity!
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos can’t be wrong!
Arizona: It’s a dry heat.
Arkansas: Literacy ain’t everything.
California: Our women have more plastic than your Honda.
Colorado: Don’t ski? Don’t bother.
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, only smaller.
Delaware: We like the chemicals in our water.
Florida: Ask us about our grand kids.
Georgia: We put the fun in Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii: Welcome mainland scum, leave your money and go.
Idaho: More than just potatoes. Well, okay, we’re not, but the potatoes sure are good.
Illinois: Please, don’t pronounce the ‘S’.
Indiana: 2 Billion years and tidal wave free.
Iowa: We do amazing things with corn.
Kansas: First of the rectangle states.
Kentucky: Five million people; fifteen last names.
Louisiana: We’re not ALL drunk Cajun wackos.
Maine: We’re really cold, but we have cheap lobster.
Maryland: If you can dream it, we can tax it!
Massachusetts: Our taxes are lower than Sweden’s.
Michigan: First line of defense from the Canadians.
Minnesota: 10,000 lakes and 10 zillion mosquitoes.
Mississippi: Come visit and feel better about your state.
Missouri: Your federal flood relief tax dollars at work.
Montana: Land of the big sky, the Unabomber, Right-wing crazies and honest elections.
Nebraska: Ask about our state motto contest.
Nevada: Hookers and poker!
New Hampshire: Go away and leave us alone.
New Jersey: I got yer #@$&!% motto right here!
New Mexico: Lizards make excellent pets.
New York: You have the right to remain silent, but no right to self defense!
North Carolina: Tobacco is a vegetable.
North Dakota: We really are one of the 50 states.
Ohio: At least we’re not Michigan.
Oklahoma: Like the play, but no singing.
Oregon: Spotted owl… It’s what’s for dinner.
Pennsylvania: Cook with coal.
Rhode Island: We’re not REALLY an island.
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? Well, we didn’t actually surrender.
South Dakota: Closer than North Dakota.
Tennessee: Home of the Al Gore invention museum.
Texas: Se Hable Ingles.
Utah: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus.
Vermont: Too liberal for the Kennedys.
Virginia: Where government stiffs and slack jaw yokels mix.
Washington: Our governor can out-fraud your governor.
West Virginia: One big happy family. Really!
Wisconsin: Come cut the cheese!
Wyoming: Where men are men and sheep are scared.
February 23rd, 2008Dirty Screen? Clean it Up.
Making the latest email rounds is a new computer screen cleaner, which is great, since the best LCD screen cleaner I’ve found so far is a pencil eraser. Check it out: Here.
February 14th, 2008Happy Valentine’s Day!
moar humorous pics
January 28th, 2008Bravo, Jerry, Bravo! Redux
January 23rd, 2008Bravo, Jerry, Bravo!
Have you heard the gossip about this Tom Cruise Scientology video?
:January 2nd, 2008Professional Courtesy
A Bozeman, MT lawyer is installing a 1000 gallon shark tank. I guess he’s bringing in partners to his firm. I’m kidding. I actually don’t mind lawyers, and it’s nice to see one with a sense of humour. Being a fish geek, I also can’t wait to see how the tanks turn out.
BOZEMAN, Mont. (AP) — It started out as a joke - a lawyer putting a shark tank in his office.“I said, ‘What would it take to put a shark in a lawyer’s office?’”, and it kind of took off from there, said attorney Christopher Gillette.[...]
Gillette plans to fill the saltwater tank with a miniature marine ecosystem, including at least two sharks - a blacktip reef shark being flown in from the Caribbean Sea and a bamboo shark that will be hatched from eggs in the tank.
Read the full story at the Flathead Beacon
November 3rd, 2007Happy Tree Friends
Earlier today I posted a video using blogger’s new “Add Video” feature. Or, at least, I thought I did. Instead I thought I’d post a completely sick and twisted video from YouTube. When I say sick and twisted, however, I mean it — watch at your own risk.
