“Apparently you morons didn’t understand me the first time. I CANNOT take time off from work. I’m not putting my familys wellbeing at stake to participate in this crap. I don’t believe in our “justice” system and I don’t want to have a goddamn thing to do with it. Jury duty is a complete waste of time. I would rather count the wrinkles on my dogs balls than sit on a jury. Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the fuck alone.”
A lot of people have found these Burger King tray liners offensive. Personally, I think they’re hilarious. I think people get their knickers in a bunch over anything lately, as if they have the right to not be offended. Are these kid appropriate? Maybe not, but are they morally offensive? I don’t think so. Women have boobs, and in this case, veggie women have boobs. Really, they’re nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Pretending that sex and sexuality don’t exist is why seventeen year old governor’s daughters get knocked up.
I don’t know why, but this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long while. I’m not sure if it’s the way the girl sounds when she’s talking, or that Joel McHale looks like he’s gonna lose it, or the cat itself. Either way, I’m finding the funny.
Peter invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal his Mother couldn’t help but notice how lovely Peter’s flat mate, Joanne, was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Peter and his flat mate than met the eye.
Reading his mum’s thoughts, Peter volunteered, ‘I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Joanne & I are just flat mates’.
About a week later, Joanne came to Peter saying, ‘ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the frying pan, you don’t suppose she took it do you?
‘Well I doubt it, but I’ll e-mail her just to be sure’ said Peter. So he sat down and wrote
DEAR MOTHER,I’M NOT SAYING THAT YOU ‘DID’ TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE. I’M NOT SAYING THAT YOU ‘DID NOT’ TAKE THE FRYING PAN BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.
LOVE PETER
Several days later, Peter received an email from his mother which read…
I know someone who’s going to get this for Christmas! The DVD Rewinder:
Product Features
* Rewinds DVDs, CDs, Game Discs – and more!
* Use default ‘rewind sound’, or create your own!
* Hidden drawer for disc cleaning fluid, paper clips, or pennies.
* Requires one (1x) 9volt battery (not included).
