I think I deserve a slacker award lately! The great thing about summer is that I can not post in a while and not feel a bit guilty about it.

A little over a week ago we went to Great Falls, MT and did the tourist thing. We stopped at Ulm Pishkun at the First Peoples Buffalo Jump State Park. Ulm is the town near the jump and Pishkun comes from the Blackfeet word for ‘deep blood kettle’. At a mile long, it’s believe to be the largest jump in North America and was used for 600 years — much longer than most jumps are used.

We also made it out to Ryan Dam to see why Great Falls is called Great Falls. I’ll admit it — I first thought they should have named it ‘Meh Falls’, but before the dam was built, it would have been a beautiful sight.

Since it was going on, and well, we were there, we went to the Montana State Fair, which was also kind of ‘meh’. We did spend the two bucks to see the freak show, though. It was somewhat entertaining.

Other than that we’ve been doing some more fishing, a little geocaching and other various things. I’ve been making ATCs and plans for altering a candy box I have. Now that Dan has been laid-off from his job we plan on a few more trips around Montana and some major geocaching hunts. The Northwest Montana fair should be going live in a few days, so we’ll attend that and the rodeo as well.

Dat’s all I got!

This is the Ptychocheilus oregonensis, commonly known as the Northern Pikeminnow, or Squawfish. I caught it on the Flathead River yesterday evening. It was twelve inches long, and we guestimate the weight to be about three or four pounds. They’re very predatory and have done so much damage to trout and salmon populations, that Washington and Oregon have a bounty [pdf] on them. They’re also a very bony fish and do not make for good eatin’, so we threw him back.

This isn’t really the first fish I’ve ever caught, it’s just the first one I’ve caught in Montana that wasn’t what I call a remedial fish. I often get frustrated when fishing; either my line gets tangled, or I just don’t catch anything, so Dan takes me to the well-stocked childrens’ pond. Y’know, the one that had the alligator in it, and then the body. There I can easily, usually, catch a little trout and feel better about fishing in general. Hence, remedial pond/fish. This year I did a little reading on river fishing, and applied the techniques I’d been reading about and caught a real, wild fish in a real, wild river. I was grinning all night long!

And a pretty river, too:

Flathead River; Kalispell, MT; July 27, 2008

I saw my first bear on my first trip through Glacier National Park, but here’s a look at what they do when no one is watching. And no, they don’t pick their noses. Well, they might, but that wasn’t caught on video!

PET RULES

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same doo r I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years –canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it “fur”niture.)
3. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don’t ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don’t hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don’t smoke or drink
8. Don’t have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don’t want to wear your clothes
10. Don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and…
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

A Bozeman, MT lawyer is installing a 1000 gallon shark tank. I guess he’s bringing in partners to his firm. I’m kidding. I actually don’t mind lawyers, and it’s nice to see one with a sense of humour. Being a fish geek, I also can’t wait to see how the tanks turn out.

BOZEMAN, Mont. (AP) — It started out as a joke - a lawyer putting a shark tank in his office.

“I said, ‘What would it take to put a shark in a lawyer’s office?’”, and it kind of took off from there, said attorney Christopher Gillette.[...]

Gillette plans to fill the saltwater tank with a miniature marine ecosystem, including at least two sharks - a blacktip reef shark being flown in from the Caribbean Sea and a bamboo shark that will be hatched from eggs in the tank.

Read the full story at the Flathead Beacon

Sponsored by the New York Zoos and Aquarium is Build Your Wild Self. You first begin by building yourself in human form, then you can add your favourite animal parts. C’mon, you know you want to see what you might look like had you been born with butterfly wings, elephant legs or even the eyes of a fly! When you’re satisfied with your new self, click ‘I’m Done’ and learn about the functions of the different animal body parts.

Reindeer Antlers — Your reindeer antlers won’t stick around for long. Every year reindeer shed their antlers in the spring and summer. But don’t worry, they grow back.

Red River Hog Ears — Your red river hog ears have long black and white tassels. They can fluff out as a defense mechanism to make you look bigger and intimidate predators.

Anaconda Snake Tongue — Now you can smell with your tongue! Your forked anaconda tongue collects odor molecules from the air and brings them back to tiny grooves in the roof of your mouth, letting you “taste” the air.

Octopus Arms — Can you imagine tasting… with your arms? Your octopus tentacles are covered suckers that are sensitive not only to touch, but also to taste, so can you grope around for food in small, dark crevices.

Indian Ornamental Tarantula Legs — Danger! Danger! The bright yellow markings on your Indian ornamental tarantula legs are a warning. They’re meant to tell attackers to stay away. You’re venomous!

Lion Fish Fins — Your lion fish fins are actually eighteen long separated spines. Each spine has venom in it to help protect you from predators. Careful where you point those things!

So, go on, have mad, animal fun!

Duly Stolen!

Alright, it’s becoming so much more rampant as it has in the past, so could someone please, please, explain LOL Cats to me? This isn’t an attempted commentary, it’s an inquiry. What am I missing? I’m often late to get the punchline, and I guess I’m late to get this one too.

What is wrong with this picture?

Does this help?

Mice don’t make the best brake calipers!