Alabama: Hell, yes, we have electricity!
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos can’t be wrong!
Arizona: It’s a dry heat.
Arkansas: Literacy ain’t everything.
California: Our women have more plastic than your Honda.
Colorado: Don’t ski? Don’t bother.
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, only smaller.
Delaware: We like the chemicals in our water.
Florida: Ask us about our grand kids.
Georgia: We put the fun in Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii: Welcome mainland scum, leave your money and go.
Idaho: More than just potatoes. Well, okay, we’re not, but the potatoes sure are good.
Illinois: Please, don’t pronounce the ‘S’.
Indiana: 2 Billion years and tidal wave free.
Iowa: We do amazing things with corn.
Kansas: First of the rectangle states.
Kentucky: Five million people; fifteen last names.
Louisiana: We’re not ALL drunk Cajun wackos.
Maine: We’re really cold, but we have cheap lobster.
Maryland: If you can dream it, we can tax it!
Massachusetts: Our taxes are lower than Sweden’s.
Michigan: First line of defense from the Canadians.
Minnesota: 10,000 lakes and 10 zillion mosquitoes.
Mississippi: Come visit and feel better about your state.
Missouri: Your federal flood relief tax dollars at work.
Montana: Land of the big sky, the Unabomber, Right-wing crazies and honest elections.
Nebraska: Ask about our state motto contest.
Nevada: Hookers and poker!
New Hampshire: Go away and leave us alone.
New Jersey: I got yer #@$&!% motto right here!
New Mexico: Lizards make excellent pets.
New York: You have the right to remain silent, but no right to self defense!
North Carolina: Tobacco is a vegetable.
North Dakota: We really are one of the 50 states.
Ohio: At least we’re not Michigan.
Oklahoma: Like the play, but no singing.
Oregon: Spotted owl… It’s what’s for dinner.
Pennsylvania: Cook with coal.
Rhode Island: We’re not REALLY an island.
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? Well, we didn’t actually surrender.
South Dakota: Closer than North Dakota.
Tennessee: Home of the Al Gore invention museum.
Texas: Se Hable Ingles.
Utah: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus.
Vermont: Too liberal for the Kennedys.
Virginia: Where government stiffs and slack jaw yokels mix.
Washington: Our governor can out-fraud your governor.
West Virginia: One big happy family. Really!
Wisconsin: Come cut the cheese!
Wyoming: Where men are men and sheep are scared.