Accent: Standard Midwestern with a hint of Southern twang.

Breakfast or no breakfast: That depends on whether Dan eats all of my Special K with Red Berries.

Chore I don’t care for: Insert chore here: __________.

Dog or Cat: Yes.

Essential Electronics: Yes.

Favorite Cologne: Chanel No. 19.

Gold or Silver: Platinum.

Handbag I carry most often: I don’t carry a handbag. I’ve tried it, I don’t like it.

Insomnia: Guaranteed!

Job Title: Feeder.

Kids: Five cats, one dog, an African grey parrot and a leopard gecko.

Living Arrangements: Let’s not go there.

Most Admirable Trait: Um… I’m nice to people I like. I’m loyal. I once rescued a woman, her three kids and their dog from drowning. Hell, I don’t know, I’m a cranky, snarky misanthrope who hasn’t done much. I have a short attention span and no patience to complete things. Wait a minute, I got it! I’m honest. Some who have met me might interpret that as tactless, but still. It works for me. Besides, that guy really did need to buy a stick of deodorant.

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: Um… I got in trouble in second grade for drawing naked women. The other stuff? No one has found out so far, and I’d like to keep it that way.

Overnight hospital stays: Twice when I was eighteen. First one kidney took a dive, then the other.

Phobias: Water, car crashes, centi- or millipedes.

Quote: Please refer to the handy quote thingy at the top of the first sidebar.

Reason to smile: When Solomon (the bird) makes burping noises.

Siblings: One brutha, one sistah.

Time I wake up: Around noon. If I go to sleep at all, that is.

Unusual Talent or Skill: It’s hard to describe, but I can turn my tongue over sideways.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: Not applicable.

Worst Habit: I pick and chew at my cuticles.

X-rays: I’ve had a few. Never for a broken bone, though.

Yummy Stuff: Avocados, raspberries, a rare tenderloin steak, Claussen pickles, pork rinds, home made mac and cheese with gravy, sashimi… I think it’s time for lunch.

Zoo Animal I Like Most: Elephants.